Hey,
Sunflower Jelly and Musings…
(6.29.26)
Guess who’s back…. back again?
Well I tried working on the Control Group, the thing I talked about in the last post. Turns out policy is really fucking corrupt. Like… “we only work on things our donors nudge us towards and therefore we really can only publish things that agree with them on a foundational level…” levels of corrupt.
So… that’s not for me. But now I know, right? I think the issue is I want to do all the things, I like all the things, and asking me to pick one of the things is like asking me to pick which finger I would like to save and you cut off the other nine…. impossible.
Yesterday I made some sunflower, lemon, and lavender jelly from sunflowers I picked in a lot across the street. I did this last year and I think this can be an annual tradition, but sitting there watching the light brown jelly set made me think… why can’t I have it all? Do it all? Be it all? Maybe the thing that’s failing me, or failing to serve my needs, is the fact that picking any one thing is too narrow. I can’t post on TikTok alone, or Instagram alone, or…. really anything alone. I’m going to put everything here, like I said in the beginning, and that’s going to be that. I’m going to take the pressure off myself to try and be niche, be specific, be memorable, and I’m going to work on just being…. me.
Updates Updates Updates (11.9.25)
So, it’s been a hot minute. I took some time to work (fun (lies)) and also evaluate certain things in my life. Do I want to work for someone who can decide arbitrarily that I’m not worthy of a promotion? Do I want to dedicate my life to building something that lines someone else’s pockets when my family is barely getting by? Do I want to creatively die? Do I want to deal with every ethical and moral dilemma that I have to navigate as a scientist in the world and risk my job saying no when people ask me to cherry pick data?
Not really… no.
I started playing around with content creation for the first time ever (which is horrifying as a concept) and didn’t really commit. I think I want to talk to people and connect and share my opinions, but I don’t really want to be “out” there. But I’ve been seeing more and more signs that I should just get my shit together and do it.
I was thinking about what I wanted to share, and what did I actually like to do that I would be willing to put out onto the internet like that?
That’s when The Control Group started forming in my mind.
An independent think-tank like organization that doesn’t accept donations from political parties, corporations, or the like, that focuses on accuracy and clarity of data and evaluating companies/individuals claims against what their actions actually line up with.
Plus I just like to be a cynical, argumentative asshole with grammar I don’t really care about. Since I don’t have a lot of time or energy to dedicate to making this “pretty” I think I’m just going to rip the bandaid off and start posting on YouTube a la MoistCritikal-style no-intro-no-sign off shoot from the hip and, if this gets any sort of traction, we’ll see about investing more energy into it.
I think the first project I’m going to do is looking at Tesla’s climate claims in 2024. They have a whole slide deck of, you guessed it, bullshit. It was fun to read and see statements of them getting suppliers to self-assess and mines to undergo “Tesla’s preferred audit” like ma’am what??
I also volunteer with a political party as the party recorder, which is about as neutral of a position I could find to apply for because I was curious, and I’m just getting frustrated with the actions I’m seeing. Again, it’s a situation of it appears that the statements and actions aren’t aligning.
Anyway, other than that I’m heading to New York in a little while to catch a comedy show and take some fun personal time. Will I be able to fly there and back with the flight cancellations thanks to the longest government shutdown in history because America is a hellhole with politicians who can’t work together for the good of the people the represent? Who knows. Funsies!
You get to listen to me talk.
5.17.2025
I finished AMDS a few weeks ago. I’m in full swing at my job. I filed my LLC documents today woohoo.
Flavors and Formulas 